Genisis

Sorry, ik ben weer aan iets nieuws begonnen. U krijgt dus twee verhaaltjes door elkaar, pas op en reik u niet te ver.

The Garden of Eden and the stories concerning this mythical and mystical place have a prominent place not only in Christian theology, but also in every nook and cranny of our sizeable (no use for false modesty, is there) Western civilization. In our 'crime & punishment' mindset – coupled with the unavoidable idea that anything is better in the past tense – we have sought to interpret this is a number of ways, which some people still tend to do with religious texts, luckily, I might add. But how dramatic and futile our dealings with this tale have been. We have scoured the lands in search of this happy place filled with holly and delight, and the only reason for this that I can descry is that the world can never have enough places of pilgrimage (and really, holy men, we have enough, you can stop now, bury the symbols, whether it's half a circle, a cross or two triangles, I don't care, leave the mathematical figures to the people who know how to handle them, namely the mathematicians).
My extensive sources assure me that both Adam and Eve got their eviction notice at the very latest eight years and then some after, well, the creation of the earth, the universe and everything – although the earliest sources place it at some eight days after creation, or two days after they were created; those were some damn tough babies – and we know that our antagonist, we'll call him 'God' for simplicity, had made sure his children had not a care in the world. As such, they had no need for any kind of tools or even clothes, which makes it impossible to actually ever find that special little place (I mean the Garden, 'cause I've already found my special little place...). Unless there's still an ominous apple tree somewhere, with a snake hissing tempting, uhm, hisses; that would be a dead giveaway.
On a side note, I would've gone with The Holly Bush of Knowledge. I mean, come on, I would pluck an apple even if it didn't give me superpowers (five thousand years ago, rational thought was something special, apparently); I'd say, let them vomit a bit first, give them some diarrhea (from the holly berries) and then we'll see whether they still want their precious knowledge.
But, no, how dim-witted this 'God' person was is not really the issue here, we can draw our own conclusions on that. No, it's the story itself that I'm interested in, the classical 'entity creates boy in own likeness', 'boy is lonely so entity creates girl out of boy', 'boy and girl are deceived by snake', 'boy and girl eat an apple', 'boy and girl elope together, leaving behind an angry old entity'. A lot of stories end with angry, old entities.
Now, there are a few oddities here (apart from the fact that it lacks sense, reason or even the smallest snippet of believability, but that's always the case with religious writing (except for 'Star Trek'), so I'll let it slide), and as my throngs of thought trains tear their thrillingly tentative tracks through my head (ok, I overreached), let's analyze it as meticulously as possible. Lo and behold, a scientist at work!